{"id":3687,"date":"2026-04-14T16:53:30","date_gmt":"2026-04-14T16:53:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/?p=3687"},"modified":"2026-04-14T16:54:00","modified_gmt":"2026-04-14T16:54:00","slug":"yakinlarin-basarili-olmani-neden-istemez","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/14\/yakinlarin-basarili-olmani-neden-istemez\/","title":{"rendered":"YAKINLARIN BA\u015eARILI OLMANI NEDEN \u0130STEMEZ? \u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Bu yaz\u0131da, yak\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ba\u015far\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131zdan rahats\u0131zl\u0131k hissetmelerinin temelinde ne oldu\u011funu bilimsel veriler \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ve dilimizin d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnce anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131m. Bu nedenle birka\u00e7 bilimsel \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmadan \u00e7ok detaya girmeden bahsetmek istiyorum.<\/p>\n

Yale \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nden Nicholas Christakis\u2019 in 1971’den 2003’e kadar olan 32 y\u0131ll\u0131k bir d\u00f6nemi ve 12.067 ki\u015fiyi kapsayan Framingham Kalp \u00c7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131<\/strong>; sosyal \u00e7evrenin canl\u0131 bir organizma misali \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve sosyal a\u011flar\u0131n insan sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ile davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u00fczerinde etkilerinin \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck oldu\u011funu kan\u0131tl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

Bireysel kararlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n kolektif bir zek\u00e2 a\u011f\u0131n\u0131n par\u00e7as\u0131 oldu\u011funu, \u201cirademiz<\/strong>\u201d in \u00e7ok da \u201c\u00f6zg\u00fcr<\/strong>\u201d olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ortaya \u00e7\u0131kartan bu \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaya g\u00f6re bir ki\u015fi de\u011fi\u015fti\u011finde, sistem bunu tehdit olarak alg\u0131l\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

\u00d6rne\u011fin sen kariyer basamaklar\u0131n\u0131 h\u0131zl\u0131ca \u00e7\u0131karken ya da \u00e7ok para kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00e7evrende bulunanlarda stres seviyesi fazlala\u015f\u0131yor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc, y\u00fcr\u00fcyen al\u0131\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir d\u00fczen s\u00f6z konusuyken bu d\u00fczenin rutinini bozan bir durum ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. Belirsizlik yaratan bu ba\u015far\u0131 mevcut d\u00fczeni bozguna u\u011fratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve sizi geride b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in de rahats\u0131zl\u0131k duyuyorsunuz.<\/p>\n

Genellikle bu durum k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k olarak de\u011ferlendirilse de \u00e7o\u011fu zaman maske takm\u0131\u015f bir kayg\u0131 durumunun g\u00f6stergesi olarak tan\u0131mlan\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

Giacomo Rizzolatti\u2019nin 1980 lerin sonu ile 1990 lar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131\u00a0aras\u0131ndaki d\u00f6nemde ger\u00e7ekle\u015fen ayna n\u00f6ron ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131<\/strong> da bu durumu destekliyor. Bu ara\u015ft\u0131rma da insan beyninin \u00e7evresindeki al\u0131\u015f\u0131lmad\u0131k de\u011fi\u015fimlerden kaynakl\u0131 rahats\u0131zl\u0131k hissetti\u011fini, su\u00e7lusu olmayan bu yeni duruma al\u0131\u015fmakta zorland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ortaya koymu\u015ftur.<\/p>\n

Bir ba\u015fka ara\u015ft\u0131rmayla devam edelim isterseniz. Amerikal\u0131 psikiyatrist Dr. Murray Bowen taraf\u0131ndan\u00a01950\u2019li y\u0131llar\u0131n ortalar\u0131ndan itibaren geli\u015ftirilmeye ba\u015flanan Bowen Aile Sistemleri Kuram\u0131<\/strong>\u2019na g\u00f6re yak\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n bu gibi durumlardaki tepkilerinin kayna\u011f\u0131 sen de\u011fil, kendileri olarak ortaya \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc senin ba\u015far\u0131n nedeniyle \u00e7evrendekilerin mevcut rollerinde de\u011fi\u015fiklik meydana gelmi\u015ftir. \u015e\u00f6yle ki; senin ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olman ve g\u00fc\u00e7lenmen durumunda yak\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n \u201cen ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131<\/strong>\u201d veya \u201cen g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc<\/strong>\u201d rolleri kaybedilmi\u015f, \u201cAl\u0131\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f d\u00fczen\u201d, \u201cG\u00fcnl\u00fck rutinler\u201d<\/strong> kaybolmu\u015ftur. Bu yeni durumlarda roller belirsizle\u015fti\u011fi i\u00e7in stres ve kayg\u0131 ortama egemen olmu\u015ftur.<\/p>\n

Bu kayg\u0131 ortam\u0131na sebep yeni rollerin ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131; insanlar de\u011fi\u015fmese de ili\u015fkilerde de\u011fi\u015fiklik olarak yans\u0131yacakt\u0131r. O y\u00fczden siz b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e baz\u0131 insanlar\u0131n hayat\u0131n\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131 da normal bir durum olacakt\u0131r. Sizden uzakla\u015fan bu insanlar\u0131n yeni durumunuza uyum g\u00f6sterememesi k\u00f6t\u00fc bir \u015fey olmay\u0131p, a\u00e7\u0131lan yere sizi ta\u015f\u0131yan insanlar\u0131n gelmesine olanak sa\u011flayacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Peki, bu ili\u015fkilerin dayana\u011f\u0131 nedir?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sevgiye dayanan ili\u015fkiler bu yeni durumda g\u00fc\u00e7lenecek, kuvvetlenerek devam edecektir.<\/p>\n

Al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131k temelindeki ili\u015fkiler yeni duruma ayak uydurmakta zorlanacak ve zay\u0131flayarak bitecektir.<\/p>\n

Role dayanan ili\u015fkiler yeni durumu kabullenmeyecek ve k\u0131r\u0131lacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Ayr\u0131ca ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar \u015funu da g\u00f6steriyor ki; b\u00fct\u00fcn bu durumlar\u0131 bedenininiz zihinden \u00f6nce fark etmektedir. \u00c7evrenizdeki insanlarla bir araya geldikten sonra enerjiniz art\u0131yor mu azal\u0131yor mu? Ba\u015farm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fun konularla ilgili bir sohbete kim kat\u0131l\u0131yor, kim seviniyor veya kim konuyu de\u011fi\u015ftiriyor? Ya da hangileriyle birlikteyken rahat ya da gerginsin?<\/p>\n

Bu sorulara verdi\u011fin cevaplar, ili\u015fkilerinin dayanak noktas\u0131n\u0131 da belirlemi\u015f oluyor.<\/p>\n

Evet, sevgili dostlar! S\u00f6z konusu ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar \u015funu g\u00f6steriyor ki insanlar de\u011fi\u015fmez, roller de\u011fi\u015fir. Ger\u00e7ek ili\u015fkiler ise her de\u011fi\u015fime kar\u015f\u0131 diren\u00e7li olanlard\u0131r. Sen ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 oldun ve baz\u0131 yak\u0131nlar\u0131n uzakla\u015ft\u0131 m\u0131? Yeni alan\u0131n, yeni yak\u0131nlar\u0131n hay\u0131rl\u0131 olsun! Hayat seni daha iyi ve daha g\u00fczelleriyle kar\u015f\u0131layacakt\u0131r. Sen t\u00fcrk\u00fclerini s\u00f6ylemeye devam et diyor;<\/p>\n

Ba\u015far\u0131n\u0131n getirdi\u011fi yeni yak\u0131nlar\u0131ma selamlar, sayg\u0131lar ve sevgiler g\u00f6nderiyorum\u2026<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

H\u00dcSEY\u0130N KANZA<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bu yaz\u0131da, yak\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ba\u015far\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131zdan rahats\u0131zl\u0131k hissetmelerinin temelinde ne oldu\u011funu bilimsel veriler \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ve dilimizin d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnce anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131m. Bu nedenle birka\u00e7 bilimsel \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmadan \u00e7ok detaya girmeden bahsetmek istiyorum. Yale \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nden Nicholas Christakis\u2019 in 1971’den 2003’e kadar olan 32 y\u0131ll\u0131k bir d\u00f6nemi ve 12.067 ki\u015fiyi kapsayan Framingham Kalp \u00c7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131; sosyal \u00e7evrenin canl\u0131 bir organizma misali \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3688,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,10,8,36],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3687","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-balikesir","category-bursa","category-istanbul","category-yazar"],"views":565,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3687","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3687"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3687\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3690,"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3687\/revisions\/3690"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3687"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3687"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marmarahabermerkezi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3687"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}